This piece was first published in The Guardian on Tuesday 28 November 2023.

Lindy Lucena from Ballina was a “happy soul” with a “wicked sense of humour.” Dayna Isaac from Penrith was an “amazing mum” to two children and the “life of the party and a friend to everyone”. Tiffany Woodley from Derbal Yerrigan (Yirrigan) country on the Swan River was a gentle and loving mother of four children and a caring sister to Semisha.

These three women are among the 54 to have been allegedly killed by men’s violence so far in 2023. Fifty-four lives cut short and futures stolen allegedly by partners, ex-partners and sons.

Australia’s violence against women is a national crisis and men are overwhelmingly found to be the perpetrators. But these deaths are just the tip of the iceberg. Every year, hundreds of thousands of women are affected by men’s violence and abuse. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women are eight times more likely to be murdered, and violence against First Nations women is often under-reported and under-investigated.

This issue is so alarming and insidious that our political parties have dissolved party lines to come together to establish a cross-party federal Parliamentary Friends of Ending Violence Against Women, which is calling for a renewed effort to turn the tide on gendered killings.

It is easy to think there is nothing we can do – to assume these are one-off events committed by a few bad men. But the little-known truth is that violence against women is driven by gender inequality and it can be seen in the attitudes and behaviours that disrespect and devalue women. Men who hold these attitudes are more likely to perpetrate violence, harass women or seek to control the women in their lives.

But there is hope: each murder of and each act of violence against a woman is preventable. We all have an opportunity to be part of collective action and changing the attitudes that underpin men’s choice to use violence. We can do this by making sure our workplaces, sporting clubs, schools and communities are places where women face no barriers to a “fair go”, are safe, and where they are treated as equals and with respect.

During the annual international 16 days of activism campaign against gender-based violence, we are hosting an event with national violence against women prevention organisation, Our Watch, to keep this issue firmly on the national agenda and in the minds of our country’s policy and law makers.

For Australia to be a global leader in preventing violence against women we must not be divided along political lines. To do so would paralyse us and cost the lives of women and their children. United, we can use our positions to help create positive change.

We have seen the power of multipartisan commitments to ending this violence through the adoption in Australia of the National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children, and funding to deliver the strategy, changes to workplace regulation, including a positive duty to prevent sexual harassment, and support for respectful relationships education in schools. We have also seen the emergence of efforts to address perpetrator behaviour, such as the Healthy Masculinities, Stop It At the Start and The Line campaigns.

These are just some of a long list of initiatives that are helping deliver the changes needed. Governments at all levels must continue to prioritise this issue with funding and leadership, and we must all drive the cultural change needed to end the epidemic of violence against women.

We also need leaders in our workplaces, schools and sporting and community groups to take on this important cause.

We need educators, parents and carers teaching young people about respectful relationships and consent, and showing them how to recognise discrimination, and how to challenge gender stereotypes.

Employers, sporting clubs and media all have an important role to play in creating a fairer, safer community for women by promoting gender equality and challenging outdated, harmful attitudes and behaviours.

For workplaces, this includes removing barriers to women progressing to leadership positions, measuring and closing gender pay gaps, championing female leaders and having policies that encourage men and women to adopt equal caring responsibilities.

As individuals we can be respectful, not laugh at sexist jokes, challenge outdated beliefs and attitudes and continue to speak about equality and raising women’s voices.

We need male allies who are courageous and call out their mates when they are disrespecting women or excusing or making light of violence. It’s so easy for silence to be interpreted as condoning bad behaviour and sexist attitudes.

The deaths of Lindy, Dayna and Tiffany are a reminder that we face a national emergency. But we must turn our anger and pain into action, and keep fighting for a safe future for women.

And that goes beyond party politics.

This piece was first published in Canberra Weekly on Saturday 27 August 2022.